Saying goodbye to a beloved pet
When you bring home that super cute puppy or kitten you rarely think about end of life care. That is so far off - likely 10 to 15 years. But the inevitable begins to happen. Small things at first like little bumps or tooth decay. But pretty soon things escalate. You might start stepping in puddles all over the house, or your dog barks at everything because he can no longer hear anything. Those bumps become tumors and teeth are completely worn down. Certain breeds are more susceptible to various ailments. Maybe hips no longer work right or a persistent cough begins and never goes away. At some point you have to decide if you are going to continue fixing things or if it is time to say goodbye.
My dog lived a great, long life. Toward the end, more and more things began to go wrong. I took him to a vet that I normally didn’t go to because my vet had closed temporarily. I was offered a very expensive surgery that I could not afford. I was offered a payment plan, which I considered. But with my dog being as old as he was I decided it was time to say goodbye. I’m not going to lie. It took me about 8 months to make that decision. I felt so guilty about it. I kept wondering if I was doing the right thing. He could probably hang on a while longer.
Once my veterinary opened back up I made the call. Instead of being made to feel like I wasn’t doing the right thing, the person I spoke with reassured me that it is better to do put down an animal sooner rather than later. Sure, your pet may be able to live a while longer, but how comfortable will he be? You really don’t want your pet suffering because you feel guilty or want to be able to snuggle him.
I made my appointment for two weeks out. I wasn’t ready to let go quite yet. I had been prepared for someone to tell me that I really should just get him the surgery and medicine that he needed. Over the two weeks I spoke with my three year old daughter about what was going to happen and told her we wouldn’t have Frank anymore. I can’t say that she fully understood, but thankfully Daniel Tiger had an episode on about a pet fish dying (Somehow Daniel Tiger always knows what we are going through!) which might have helped.
Today was the day. I loaded the kids in the car with Frank and we headed to the vet. These days everything is different. We called from the car to check in. I was asked if I wanted to be present. Under different circumstances I would have, but when you have two small children with you things are more complicated. I opted not to be present. I also think that I am a highly sensitive person, and it might have been a bit overwhelming for me.
We were given the choice of taking him home after the euthanasia was performed, group cremation where you don’t get the ashes back, or single cremation where you do get the ashes back (priced from low to high). We went with the group cremation option as we don’t have a great place to bury a dog currently.
The vet tech came out and collected Frank after we had said our goodbyes. We also received a call from the vet confirming our choice to put Frank down. She was very kind and reassured us that they would hold Frank and give him love as he passed.
Now we move on to the new normal (two kids and one dog) and hope that everyone can process the grief properly… I’m most worried about our now single dog.
Know that however long you keep your pets alive and however much money you can or are willing to invest in their prolonged health, there is a vet out there that will support your decision and help you with end of life care.